I went in for jury duty Monday and thought — this is going to be so easy, I will tell them that I am pregnant and I will get out of it instantly. My name was called minutes after the orientation and I walked with my jury cohort to department O at the Santa Monica courthouse. There were 30 of us, but only 14 (12+2 alternates) had to serve. I was number 19 to be called as people had not made the cut already. I got up there, swore to tell the truth to some god, and then sat down. The judge asked me my name, what I do, what my husband does, and if I have ever served before. I got a little nervous, as I had never been in front of a judge before, but I answered all his questions. After another ten or so minutes, I realized that I was in the jury box, and that in two seconds I would not be allowed to speak again until the case was over. I quickly raised my hand and asked to speak. The judge asked me if anything was wrong and I proceeded to tell him that I was pregnant and that I have morning sickness and the only way to feel better is to eat constantly. He quickly replied that that is no problem and that I should feel free to eat and drink as much as I want while in court. Then he announced that the jury had been picked.
Not only was I on the jury, but I had just told 15 strangers that I was pregnant. I have not even told my grandmother yet, and these random people all know. It felt strange. Suddenly everyone was smiling at me, asking me questions, it was like instant popularity. But then the baby/children stories began. Everyone felt that I should know about their kids; how old they are, what they do, what time they came home last night, how many car accidents they have been in. While at first I was amused, I quickly got really bored and scared. Am I going to be like this??? Is this what happens??? And of course, my favorite line that always comes last, “Aren’t you glad you have all this to look forward to?” The last guy that said this to me was talking about how he tries to act cool when his kids come home late, even though he is furious, so that they listen to him. He went on about how 16 is such a crazy year, with licenses and such. I was getting a little testy at this point and decided that I wanted to stop all conversation, so I turned to him and reminded him that I was closer to 16 than my kid is.
June 29, 2007 at 12:27 am |
Should have talked to me first. It’s soooo easy to get out of Jury duty. You just look at what questions they ask you and give an extreme point of view. If all else fail blurt a racial slur (example – to the judge “you’re not Jewish are you, as long as you’re not I’m ok to be here. Then reflect and say, I hope the lawyers aren’t Jews”). If you are not comfortable pretending to be racist then just mutter to yourself “can’t wait to put someone away” and act suprised when people hear you.
Me, I love jury duty. I believe in serving my country and doing my civic duty. Unless it’s grand jury duty, that’s where I draw the line.
Advice – “If you do something right the first time, nobody will appreciate how difficult it was”
June 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm |
Its funny that you bring up the Jewish thing, because the defendant was Israeli and representing himself (he lost in the end) and there was a Rabbi on the jury too…. I was keeping a low profile!
July 10, 2007 at 9:07 pm |
Follow up to my note, this is from http://www.cnn.com:
BARNSTABLE, Massachusetts (AP) — A Cape Cod man who claimed he was homophobic, racist and a habitual liar to avoid jury duty earned an angry rebuke from a judge on Monday, who referred the case to prosecutors for possible charges.
“You say on your form that you’re not a fan of homosexuals,” Nickerson said.
“That I’m a racist,” Ellis interrupted.
“I’m frequently found to be a liar, too. I can’t really help it,” Ellis added.
“I’m sorry?” Nickerson said.
“I said I’m frequently found to be a liar,” Ellis replied.
“So, are you lying to me now?” Nickerson asked.
“Well, I don’t know. I might be,” was the response.
Ellis then admitted he really didn’t want to serve on a jury.
“I have the distinct impression that you’re intentionally trying to avoid jury service,” Nickerson said.
“That’s true,” Ellis answered.
Nickerson ordered Ellis taken into custody. He was released later Monday morning.
Ellis could face perjury and other charges